Video Of Iran Gays Dancing On Rooftops Before Being Thrown Off Sparks Outrage

Authorities vowed to crack down on homosexuals who dance before being hurled to their deaths.

Tehran, January 8 – Conservatives in the Islamic Republic railed against the irreverence that a number of homosexuals displayed before their executions this week, following the dissemination of a video recording that captured the condemned men dancing on top of the buildings from which they were pushed to their deaths in punishment for their sexuality.

Iranian conservatives in print and broadcast media pounced on the short clip, declaring it an illustrative example of the lack of seriousness that makes them oppose homosexuality on pain of death.

“Light-hearted dancing before one’s execution has no place in Islamic law, and no place in the Islamic Republic,” railed Ayatollah Ayminda Klazzet on his weekly program on official state TV. “This video evidence shows clearly why we must defeat the forces of immorality by whatever means necessary.”

Sheikh Jamitinmi Anali made a similar point in his newspaper column in regime mouthpiece Al Butseksfeend on Monday. “The depravity inherent in such behavior sheds a disturbing but indicative, and, we must conclude, a damning light on the social and political agenda of our society’s enemies,” he wrote. “Facing the serious challenges our country confronts requires a sober attitude.”

Authorities vowed to crack down on homosexuals who dance before being hurled to their deaths or hanged from construction cranes. “We will not tolerate such actions,” pronounced Basij paramilitary commander Attekit Azdipazakan. “Anyone who tries to dance in violation of the law and in contravention of Islamic sensibilities before we cast him off the upper stories of a building for immorality will find himself cast off the upper stories of a building for his immorality.”

Legal experts and legislators also face the dilemma of how to penalize those who, video evidence demonstrates, engaged in such behavior prior to meeting a grisly death on the pavement below, but appear to have escaped punishment. “If you go back and look at the footage of executions of homosexuals you’ll see a lot of squirming and other movement that looks suspiciously like dancing on those rooftops,” explained parliamentary delegate Rafseks Dazitfermi. “But it’s unclear what we can do about those violators now. The courts are unlikely to want to address them, if only because they’re already stuffed with loads of cases, and besides, finding the paperwork to identify the perpetrators’ unmarked graves so we can dig them up and put them on trial isn’t exactly economically possible right now, what with the American sanctions and our currency plummeting faster than a gay in Isfahan.”

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