We Need To Widen These Tunnels; My Ears Keep Getting Caught

by Yahya Sinwar

Rafah, May 22 – Take a memo, Shadi: next time we build a subterranean network that exceeds the length and complexity of the London Underground, make sure the entryways and passageways can accommodate my Dumbo appendages.

Look, I know it’s a little bit late to raise this point now. We’re more than seven months into this war and I haven’t seen the light of day in all that time. It can get to a person. So allow me to express this peeve of mine: we need to consider my earspan when we plan our construction projects. that wasn’t done here, and I’m suffering.

Every time I pass through a doorway, I’m forced to turn my head to the side at least twenty degrees. That might not seem like a lot to you, but it has become routine for me. The slightest lapse and I scratch my ears on the doorposts, which, I might remind you, are not exactly made of the smoothest finished concrete this side of the Kerem Shalom crossing. You know that feeling when your bare toe tip drags along the rough ground? That’s my every day for my ears in this warren.

I’ve remained silent on this until now for multiple reasons. First of all, it wasn’t supposed to take this long to bring international pressure down on Israel to top the fighting. We had all the assurances from Teheran and our supporters around the world, especially in Washington and on university campuses, that the global community would step in within weeks, if not a few months, to stay the Zionists’ hands and their “disproportionate” operations. It’s taken much longer, and that staying of the Zionists’ hands appears more remote than ever.

Second of all, as leader of this organization in Gaza, I bear a responsibility to display stoic, even superhuman, determination. Complaints about something so seemingly petty would undermine the show of confidence I must project.

Third, and this relates to the second, the Zionist blockade has restricted the food supply and now only our personnel are allowed as much food as they want. This leads to some weights – I should say volume – issues, as those brave fighters must squeeze through openings and passages that were not designed with such girth in mind. Remember, the children digging the tunnels and clambering through the openings were actual children, not the children with beards, guns, and children of their own whom we lament as innocent victims of the Zionist genocide.

I’m just saying, Shadi, next time we need to take my ears into account. I can’t even flap them freely down here.

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