We Welcome All Converts To Islam, But European Jews Can’t Really Be Jewish

By Yusuf Jabber

We have encountered the claim so many times that refuting it has become tiresome, but once and for all, allow me to explain why the establishment of a “Jewish” state in Palestine is such a historical travesty: they are not even Jews, and therefore cannot claim ties to this Islamic land, because they are descended of Europeans, such as Khazars, who converted to Judaism eleven centuries ago, who come from what is now Eastern Europe, unlike Palestinians, whose ancestors converted to Islam beginning thirteen centuries ago, all genetic and documentary evidence to the contrary notwithstanding. Have I made myself clear?

I shall explain. Leaving aside red herring arguments about half the Israeli population not coming from European ancestors, and where exactly they came from we shall ignore because it makes me uncomfortable, one cannot be intellectually honest if one attempts to draw a distinction between the ties to the Holy Land that conversion to Islam creates and the ties to the Holy Land that conversion to Judaism creates. To deny it would be to engage in the kind of rhetorical fallacy that points out many of the inhabitants of Palestine under the Muslim conquest remained Christian. That is to say, stop complicating matters with inconvenient facts.

We must also ignore the multitudes of Palestinians, especially among the Bedouin, who proudly trace their ancestry to clans that arrived in Palestine in the last two or three hundred years. Focus on the actual discussion, which involves exploring the mechanism by which a convert to Islam automatically gains a hold on Palestine by virtue of being Muslim even if he hails from far-flung Fez, whereas those Europeans could not possibly be considered authentically Jewish after conversion, certainly not Jewish enough to have an attachment to their “homeland” despite cultivating and maintaining liturgical longing for it all these centuries, and definitely not as Jewish as Muslim converts are Muslim. Islamic armies won the land fair and square, which means Islam is stronger and must prevail. We shall not engage with heretical challenges to that point around questions of what the Zionist capture of the land means for this argument, and the theological and political implications of it if applied with any consistency, because it is yet another red herring. Herring is popular in Eastern Europe. QED.

In closing, we must also note the biological basis for this phenomenon, and use it as justification for bombing school buses and firing rockets at kindergartens.

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