“The Zeroth Commandment is ‘Don’t be a goddamn imbecile.'”
Divine Throne Room, February 8 – The Creator and Sustainer of all reality expressed frustration today upon discovering additional evidence that despite numerous clear passages in His revealed Word extoling Jewish sovereignty in the ancestral Jewish homeland as a paramount value, and despite the blatantly miraculous nature of events surrounding the reestablishment and continued success of that sovereignty in modern times, sizable portions of the human race continue to believe He does not endorse the phenomenon.
The Lord YHWH voiced His reaction Tuesday in the presence of several ministering angels, with the understanding that those divine emissaries will convey His displeasure at continued human refusal to apply their basic mental faculties, and through them to realize that God supports Zionism, the movement to reestablish, maintain, and strengthen Jewish government of the Land of Israel, which by the way, you fools should have noticed when that movement became a vehicle for the fulfillment of Biblical prophecies.
“I know I created a capacity for obtuseness in humanity,” acknowledged the Almighty, “but this is getting ridiculous. There are folks out there whose epistemic closure effectively prevents them from getting the right message when it’s staring them in the face, waving, and shouting. By My Name, if I were to lower a neon sign from Heaven specifically declaring My support for Zionism, amid monumental shofar blasts and pillars of fire and smoke, too many people would try to explain it away as some random anomaly, a Zionist manipulation, or Satan testing them. Obtuseness is a decision, y’all.”
The King of Kings gave specific attention to Jews who invoke religious sensibilities to justify their anti-Zionism. “Don’t be ridiculous,” He admonished them. “If you’re thinking it has to look like it comes from Me to be kosher, and that human efforts to bring the Final Redemption closer are wrong, you might want to take a look at how I’ve operated since you outgrew prophecy and commonplace miracles a few thousand years ago. You want to be treated like adults? Act like adults. I shouldn’t have to spoonfeed you. If Ezra, Nehemiah, and that crowd could see divine impetus behind the dry political and diplomatic restoration that King Cyrus facilitated, you can do the same for its modern analogue. My Name doesn’t appear in the whole Book of Esther, and that’s the paradigm going forward from there. The Zeroth Commandment is ‘Don’t be a goddamn imbecile.'”
“And as for you ‘progressive’ Jews who oppose this,” continued the Master of the Universe, “I suggest you stop trying to shoehorn the little you know of your own heritage into whichever ideological box allows you to feel morally superior. The Second Commandment is no idol-worship.”
Others present at the divine outburst noted that the Lord has no illusions about the competence, or even moral uprightness, of the people at the helm of the Zionist project, and that He views the success to date of the endeavor as that much more miraculous.
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Erratum
“God Unsure How To Make More It Explicit He In Favor Of Zionism” -> “God Unsure How To Make It More Explicit He In Favor Of Zionism”
Wow, that’s a doozy. Thank you.