Weather Not Quite Warm Enough For Captured-Terrorists-Handcuffed-In-Underwear Group Purim Costume

Comments about the zaftig body types in the friend group led to the epiphany.

Jerusalem, March 14 – A collection of friends who for years have decided on a unified theme for their regalia in honor of the upcoming Jewish holiday celebrating an averted genocide decided today that their favored idea for this year’s festivities, which invokes scenes of Hamas mass-surrender and those prisoners stripped down to their briefs, clashes with the expected temperature for that day. The friends have yet to agree on a suitable fallback.

Seven men who game, drink, hang out together, and support one another realized this morning that their otherwise-awesome idea of celebrating Purim by undressing as a group of captured Hamas terrorists will probably not work, given that March weather at this elevation is not exactly compatible with parading around only in boxers.

Ido, Ron, Sagi, Yair, Yaniv, Shai, and “Banksy,” as the group members refer to one another, spent much of Thursday morning discussing the realization on a WhatsApp group. Yaniv shared his concerns first, at about 9:30. The others chimed in over the course of the next two hours. Banksy – who had the nickname before the other six ever met him, and refuses to disclose how he earned it, but no, he has neither artistic skill nor affinity for graffiti – proved to be the last holdout.

“You’re just unwilling to budge from this idea because for you it’s not a costume to begin with,” admonished Ido, and the group dissolved into “ooh, burn!” memes and virtual high-fives for the next half-hour.

The proposal to go as Hamas fighters who surrendered grew out of an escalating series of memes on the WhatsApp group two weeks ago. Six of the seven had returned from IDF reserve duty in or near the Gaza Strip or near the Lebanese border, and the guys used the memes to relieve tension. Several such images used photos of the apprehended, half-naked terrorists on their knees, some of the men looking a little too well-fed to match the “Gaza is starving under siege” propaganda from Hamas supporters. Subsequent comments about the similar body types of the friend group led to the epiphany.

Winter brought a shift in the treatment of the actual prisoners: whereas the first waves of captives remained in their underwear right after capture, since the onset of colder weather the IDF has put them in plastic body suits before transport to prison facilities. The group floated the idea of the body suits but rejected it because the image would lake the specific evocations of men in their underwear.

Please support our work through Patreon.
Buy In The Biblical Sense: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B92QYWSL