We’ll Know They’ve Caught The Right Duma Suspects If They’re Jewish

By The British Broadcasting Corporation

Our job as one of the world’s most venerable, reputable news organizations is to use our judgement to determine what events our worthy of your attention, and, in the process, to arrive at an assessment of what reports are reliable. For example, in the case of the fatal arson in the Palestinian village of Duma, our audience definitely needs to know if and when suspects are caught, and we will determine whether those suspects are the correct ones if they are Jewish.

It is not enough simply to relay to our audience the evidence that has emerged to date. The sheer glut of information precludes such an approach, and our role becomes that of providing a filter, a lens, if you will, on developments, so that a coherent narrative emerges. The narrative, in this case, involves Israeli brutality and perfidy, and we therefore relay only those reports congruent with that narrative. If investigations reveal that the Duma suspects are not Jewish, we will know, based on the narrative, that they have been wrongly accused, and will in all likelihood not deem such reports worthy of passing on to our audience.

Our approach has served us well over the last several decades, and, we assert with some pride, has pervaded other newsrooms in the United Kingdom and beyond. Such august publications as The Guardian and The Times of London have adopted nearly identical editorial policies in this regard, and we believe our influence played no small role in making that possible. Thanks to this method of weighing Israeli-Palestinian developments, the mainstream attitude in British media now automatically features assumptions of Israeli culpability and cruelty contrasted with Arab virtue and default victimhood.

Relaying all reports of violence might confuse our audience, who have become accustomed to our admittedly simplistic filtering. But that is a small price to pay for consistency – not to mention the gratifying feeling we get when our reporting sparks righteous outrage among so many of our Muslim citizens. Besides, if we continue to view Israeli-Palestinian events only through the lens of Israeli evil, eventually, a critical mass among our audience will ensure that Britain and the West as a whole facilitate the destruction of Israel, and no longer will such determinations need to be made in journalism. It will be relegated to the realm of the historians, who have become especially adept at documenting the demonisation and eventual destruction of Jews, but oh well, what can you do? It’s in the past.