What Is Russian Word For Nakba?

by Vladimir Putin, President, Russian Federation

Moscow, September 29 – Special Operation in Ukraine began February, but I will be first to admit it did not follow plan we had. Bombast and disinformatsiya had only part of desired effect, we failed in surprise assault on Kiev, and in months since, our military has failed in objective after objective, suffering shame of defeat in attempt to remove sovereignty of neighbor in bid to restore glory of empire by ancestors. Exactly like Arabs against Jews in 1948, when Arabs outnumber Jews ten to one and still lose – shame of that episode they call Nakba, for which we now need word in Russian.

Word for “catastrophe” – which is literal translation of Nakba – not evocative enough. катастрофа is weak translation, like Arabs thought Jews were weak and we thought Ukrainians were. Thought it would be cakewalk. Thought boasts were true. “Nakba” is mean nothing in Russian, but is sound like kind of cake, so no good as word for our Nakba. Russian colorful language, but not up to task for this – like Russian military not up to task of defeat weak little no-nuclear-weapon Ukraine because we promise them thirty years ago we never attack. Like Arabs with regular armies and oil and Nazi Wehrmacht training not only fail to drive outnumbered, under-equipped Jews into sea, but lose territory United Nations proposed for Arab state next to Jewish one. Need word for that kind of intense shame.

We need word for Nakba also because of parallels in blame. Russian ego is unable to accept weak outnumbered Ukraine with comedian president and Soviet-era equipment is fight off superior Russian forces and pin them down for months before counterattack and drive back demoralized Russian units in short time, so Russians are try save face with claims of foreign fighters and help – just as Arabs unable to accept Jews under arms embargo able to fight off valiant Arab legions and forced by ego to believe is something more sinister afoot. Otherwise, shame too unbearable. Nakba.

On other hand, distilling phenomenon into single word is give it possible outsize attention, creating also risk that events will cripple Russian thinking for next generations, as refusal to accept Jewish victory is cripple Arab world for seventy years. It is became trauma and psychosis almost, and Russia already has long list of those going back to czars. Will have to convene advisers to discuss issue, if I can find advisers who have not yet fallen out of high windows and then shot selves in head eight times.

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