You Zionists Are Trying To Kidnap What We Arabs Have Rightfully Stolen

by Vizzini

Florin, November 30 – So. It is down to you – and it is down to me.

There will be no negotiation. And you’re killing the Zionist project.

There’s nothing to explain. You Zionists are trying to kidnap what we Arabs have rightfully stolen.

You could have gone anywhere. Uganda. The Americas. Madagascar. Australia. You know, the place peopled entirely with criminals, which would be suitable for you. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders: never get involved in a land war in Asia. And yet here you are, in southwest Asia, trying to claim your ancestral land by force, as if that’s any way to claim a land that’s been taken from you by force. Morons.

You must have suspected I’d know your Khazar origins – you’d have counted on it – but clearly you chose the land in front of me. It’s mine because my ancestors took it from the people who took it from the people who took it from the people who took it from your ancestors. And now you come along claiming it? Inconceivable! It becomes ours by default after a certain amount of time, but after you’ve taken it, no matter how much time passes, it never becomes yours. Thus the Palestine Refugee camps that hold fourth-generation “refugees” who, by the term’s normal definition, aren’t refugees at all. But we Arabs need them around to help maintain anti-Zionist grievance and distract from our domestic troubles. We will make sure they never forget and never stop asserting their attachment to the land, which therefore negates the land becoming anyone else’s. That’s totally different from the Jewish attachment to the land that’s part of the faith’s liturgy and calendar and teachings and rituals. Totally different.

Where was I? Right. Australia. You should go back to Australia or Brooklyn, the places where your ancestors fled to because of persecution that I will pretend never happened under Muslim rule. We treated our Jews well! That’s why so many Jews remain in the Muslim world even after the, uh, the uh…

WHAT IN THE WORLD CAN THAT BE??

Oh, never mind, I could have sworn I saw an argument that might have worked on a great fool. I am not a great fool, but I thought you might be, and considered invoking the “Arabs are Semites” canard, but never mind. I’m amused by something else. I’ll tell you in a minute.

Please support our work through Patreon.